Grieving Process - Pathway to Yourself and YOUR Peace.

Social change and our society - it feels more and more that we all have to perform flawlessly, smoothly and effective - there is no time, room for emotions and for sure not for mourning and grieving.

The pressure to act and behave smoothly in an accelerating society makes being 'in mourning' a disruptive state that should be limited as much as possible and ended as early as possible. This social pressure or let me call it compulsion is fatal for the mourning experience itself.

Time to say farewell - in a good way - in your way 

As I've written in previous articles, grief has no final ending, although the pain will subside over time and life will and have to take a new direction.

In the perception of most people and as it is seen all too often in society - the expectation is that a grieving process is mostly understood as a temporary times and period with an start and end  - as exceptional state, a state of emergency - a time that should not only be over at some point, but should ideally be overcome and concluded as quickly as possible. 

This leads to problematic and awkward understanding of grief and misguided expectations:

If someone "still hasn't got over it" after six or twelve months of mourning the loss of a loved one, this is often interpreted as an alarm signal, as an indication of psychological stress or even depression.
In our society, which is characterized by performance principles, people often strive all too quickly for stability and self-control, even after the loss of family members.
The mourner, on the other hand, seems little available for his own interests in communication and for the criteria of classic functioning. This behavior is fatal. Because it is above all talking to friends and relatives about the loss that helps the most during the grieving of the deceased - no matter how long this process may take.

But luckily - here and there we can see a contrary movement - more and more we can see the understanding and idea 'going a way' - where grief is viewed as an integral part of life as a whole: We always exist in loss and farewells.

However, that doesn't mean we have to be missing something. On the contrary:

In my understanding of these challenges of life - these toe-to-toe and line-up situations -  to be encountered with what has been lost and the active confrontation with emotions and pain become a part of a healing process and  farewell with dignity.

Grief is a process

Grief is a path an individual navigates at their own pace. And please keep in mind, that grief is not a disorder that an individual needs to be cured of.
Mourning the loss of a loved one is a process, in an individual time, setting, and it's a pathway to yourself and YOUR peace.