Mental Health - Widower Experience (WX)

Courage and confidence are intrinsic qualities that have always sustained me, deeply rooted, as I believe, in human nature. They enable people to see light even in the darkest times of life and to keep fighting. Particularly impressive are the stories of those who relentlessly pursue their dreams and ultimately triumph despite adverse circumstances. The Paralympic athletes are shining examples of such indomitable will. For me, they are moving and motivating examples, symbolizing the courage to bounce back after setbacks and to rise again and again. Physical and Emotional Challenges Physical and emotional challenges are often intertwined. The physical disabilities that many Paralympians have to overcome bring not only physical limitations but also emotional burdens. The path to athletic triumph is paved with setbacks, pain, and mental struggles. The disability itself poses a constant challenge, often accompanied by societal stigmatization. Yet, it is these very challenges that shape the...

The National Pencil Day is on March 30th or 31st and it is the perfect time to explore these old writing tools and to remember - also what a pencil could teach us, even about inner values. This simple instrument has meant so much to mankind. It allows people to express themselves, helps them to let their creativity run wild and supports all kinds of doodling and scribbling. Did you know that a pencil can write up to about 45,000 words? Have you ever thought about what kind of images and emotions a pencil can give us? How many hands have held the pencil - or rather the pencil was held? Pencils have been in use for a long time and have undergone many changes in their design, changing themselves, and also changing the world, changing us. This is a tale by - Paulo Coelho  A boy was watching his grandmother write a letter. At one point, he asked: ‘Are you writing about me?’ His grandmother stopped writing her letter and said to her grandson: ‘I am writing about you, actually, but more i...

Identifying and understanding your values might be or most often  is a challenging and important exercise. Your personal values form a significant aspect of who you are, and who you aspire to be. By being more aware of these significant elements in your life, you can use them to make the most suitable decision in any situation. Some of life's decisions revolve around identifying what you value the most. When multiple options seem plausible, it is comforting and beneficial to rely on your principles as a strong guiding force to steer you in the right direction. What is the significance of holding values? Your values are the beliefs and ethics you deem significant in influencing the course of your lifestyle and work. These principles should ideally govern your priorities and guide your choices as well as your behaviour towards others. When your actions align with your principles, life seems rewarding. Why are personal values crucial? Recognizing your values could signi...

Steve Biko phrased the statement: "A people without a positive history is like a vehicle without an engine." (Bantu Stephen Biko was a South African anti-apartheid activist.) - I like the quote, maybe because I am a motorbike-cyclist, I am fascinated about engines, vehicles ...  However or in whatever way you want to look at it we have to understand every history in three parts which go hand in hand and overlapping each other - the past, present, and future. I firmly believe really seeing this, understanding this, and making use of them is important - but nobody is what happened to them, we all should be what we choose to become. Mindfulness is all the rage these days, and for good reason. Focusing on the moment can improve our well-being, foster compassion, and help our relationships. (Former Article about  Mindfulness ) What about learning from the past? What about going beyond the present moment?  Sure, thinking about the future can trigger anxiety - but a growing...

Thoughts that are "positive" are not a good way to approach life, in spite of common sense and self-help advice. Friends advise you to "hold out hope." Gurus of self-improvement advocate for "the law of attraction." My heart and soul are filled with 'Aye' and 'Nae'. Because thinking like this only breeds disappointment, despair, and anxiety. (Why, in your opinion, do most people lack productivity and low self-esteem?) Instead, I developed a life strategy that is actually much more effective for me: I began practicing stoicism without realizing it was that. This article will outline / list five essential Stoic concepts which helped me and I hope that they will help you "upgrade" your thinking and gain confidence in your ability to accomplish ´'challenges of life'. Develop mind power All humans possess the ability to think, feel, and use their minds. Thoughts give us opinions about other people, things, and ourselves. These ...

The ups and downs in life often feel like ebbs and flows - But the tides aren't the only things in nature and life that have their 'up' and 'down', the 'out' and 'in' respectively. . First of all, we should remember that it is "ebb and flow" - not "ebb and never return". The same goes for many things, events and interests in life. And the nice thing is you can rely on it and trust it. And yes, the laws of ebb and flow do not always apply. However, as with all 'reliability in life', the ideas for this do not apply to all situations. For example, when I say we should meet our need for variety, I most certainly do NOT mean that we do when it comes to your job or your significant other. At least not in the direct sense - even if this were possible. But you always have to be aware of the consequences that some high and low tides have - figuratively speaking, rip currents that could pull you onto the open ocean. (I had such a re...

Wieder einmal ein Post zu einem Song der uns positiv stimmen kann und uns hilft, motiviert unseren Weg zu suchen und zu gehen. In Crucify erzählt Tori Amos von dem religiösen Konformismus, der ihr durch das familiäre Umfeld und allgemein durch die amerikanische Gesellschaft auferlegt wurde. Den Song hat Tori vor etwa 30 Jahren gemacht, kurz bevor sie 30 wurde. Tori sucht in dem Song nach Rettung und findet die Rettung und findet sich selbst / in sich selbst. Das Schlagzeug im Lied beschreibt die restriktive Lebenssituation, während das Klavier vieles abmildert. Die Klavierriffs führen uns in Toris Wut und die Texte drücken ihre Befreiung aus.  Tori weiß, wer sie ist. Tori ist ein Stein, weil sie sich von den Ketten befreit hat, sie ihrer Kreuzigung entgangen ist und die Nägel der bigotten Gesellschaft abgelehnt hat. Tori sprengte ihre Ketten, setzte sich ans Klavier und rockte. Frei, natürlich, wild. -------------------------------------------- Crucify was released about 30 years a...

Reflexion über das Leben. Was macht Leben aus?  Und was ist Leben? Je nach  Wissenschaftsdisziplin, der Biologie, Chemie, Physik oder Philosophie und Perspektive wie der Kirchen, wird man unterschiedlichste, Statements oder auch Versuche und Ansätze und Definition von Leben finden und hören. Eine allumfassende Definition haben Forscher, selbst für ihren eigenen  Fachbereiche, jedoch noch nicht gefunden, Kirchen haben diese bereits vor Jahrhunderten für sich niedergeschrieben, und die Philosophie hat interessante, oft tiefgründige aber auch sehr konstruierte Definitionen. Wie man es auch dreht und wendet das Phänomen Leben ist enorm komplex und schwierig zu fassen. Und damit die Wertung von Leben für Lebewesen und anderer Organismen. Und damit der Respekt und Definition der Würde. Oft heißt es - Das Leben ist kurz - Und es heißt man solle keine Sekunde davon verschwenden.  Erinnere ich mich an die letzten Worte von Menschen die ich in den letzten Wochen, Tagen oder au...

Design thinking has helped me create new products, concepts, services and other abstract challenges. And these creative methods of design thinking helped me to focus, arranging values, my values and aims - to practice self-awareness - and to design a 'better life' for myself. In fact, I firmly believe that design thinking may help others as well to deal with challenges in life and for instance grief. By the way - already two year ago I wrote an article labeled:  Every human being is a designer - design your life by Design Thinking  and so you can consider this article as a late follow up. How to use Design Thinking for your life and especially for dealing with grieving? Empathize and Journaling Start with empathy and self-understanding - and one method is to journaling. You may have stopped using a diary once you reached adulthood. But the method and its benefits still apply. And it’s called journaling. It's simply writing down your thoughts and feelings to understan...

It is never to late to change someting in your life, to start something, to give something another chance, or to start learning, and you're never too young to aim high and achieve great things. Start a new career, fall in love, learn something or start a whole new life at 80. Look at this man, I tought that I am old as I started surfing at 47, he was 80 :-) meaning I would have even 33years more starting with riding the waves 🏄 Here is brief video about Seiichi Sano  0:49min (German)     Or check out the IOC, International Olympic Committee's website to read more about Seiichi Sano: Meet one of the world's oldest active surfers Video 2.12min Interview with the World’s oldest surfer Sano Seiichi nearing 90 (June 2023) Stop saying that something is too late, you can't do something, give it a try! You can, you should - you owe it to yourself to do something - you have to do it ... Dreams don't have limits, reality might have it 😉 but it's up to you - to experienc...

Rules of life - there are several one. But the main one for me are the three As ... A wareness         A cceptance         A ction Or in other words, getting aware, then accepting and our understanding that there is a way through any situation In my private life, in my decades as competitive sportsman, and on my jobs as craftsman, paramedic, architect or now as designer - I never call it in question that I have to be aware of, review, comprehend and perhaps dig into the circumstances, driving and influencing aspects and use my empathy. And that is even more true when it comes to self-awareness. The first step toward change is awareness. If we feel that something as it should be, can be, might be ... that we suffer, that we are not happy, or can not accept something any longer ... and I firmly believe that is true for personal life as well as professional life. I verily believe that our mental health needs this as a basement and that...

Situations that are out of our control and / or cannot be changed - are challenging - but obstinately fighting or trying to change them most often all in all causes will only causes pain and frustration. As ... surprise they are out of our control and / or cannot be changed. Letting go is not giving up - it is part of awareness and self-awareness - Letting go stands for gaining deeper understanding and acceptance of yourself - it is part of recognizing our own needs and values, and gaining insight into what really matters in life for you and as well for yours. So when we have the courage to let go of the things that cannot be changed, we open a new door for ourselves to greater happiness and growth. We learned to accept it, focus on what we could control, and create a better future for yourself. “ Patience you must have, my young Padawan, ” says Yoda once to Luke Skywalker. And I am pretty sure we all know the serenity prayer: “ God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can...

Living with regret is complicated and can affect your mental health. Finding ways to cope with it can help you move forward. The good and bad parts in live, the success and the failures and mistakes are part of our growth. Sure a certain amount of regret is inevitable over a lifetime. Mistakes, missteps, and bad decisions are part of the human condition. We’re all vulnerable to wondering what might have happened if we’d done one thing and not the other, or if we’d only acted when we didn’t. But how we process regret varies from one person to the next. My learning is that regret can motivate us into action like: “I won’t let an opportunity like that slip away again!” or “If only I’d left the first time he/she lied to me” or “If only I hadn’t quit before the company went public”. There are those among us who, echoing Edith Piaf, insist that “Non, je ne regrette rien” in english: “No, I regret nothing" a song, as I already mentioned one year ago , my wife loved - and my wife and I am...

The person in life who will always be with you always and all time, is yourself. Even when you are with others, you are still with yourself, too! When you are at the most beautiful or important place in the world - the most beautiful and important person is there as well. When your are laying in bed at night you are with yourself. When you wake up in the morning, you are with yourself. When you are walking along a beautiful beach in the sunlight you are with yourself. What kind of person do you want to walk along the beach with? What kind of person do you want to wake up in the morning with? What kind of person do you want to see dusk is falling, before you fall asleep? Because that person is yourself, and it's your responsibility to be that person you want to be with. It is up to us how and what we think about ourselves and how we can perceive ourselves. Every person is something unique in the world. Self-awareness is important because our feelings are an expression of our needs. ...

Yesterday I became aware of Hanna or better a good colleague made me aware by Linkedin. Hanna faced and is facing ALS - and I see - no there are so many things in common - My wife came down with PPMS (Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis) which is characterized by a gradual, steady and often uniformly continuously worsening of symptoms without relapse. As well, for my wife's disease there was no way of predicting how this was going to progress. Many people can live for decades with Multi Sclerosis and as well with PPMS (Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis) but my wife only had less than one decade from completely healthy to having only the ability to move the middle three fingers of her left hand in the morning hours.  People with PPMS and ALS and many other similar diseases know that they have only a limited time. These diseases attack certain nerves of the body, affecting muscle and nerve function. For that reason, they share many of the same symptoms, especially i...

Ich hatte verschiedene Gründe und Motivationen den letzten Artikel zu schreiben über 'Loslassen'  ... auch weil ein guter Freund aktuell damit hadert die Tochter, die nun ihr Abitur hat, ihren Weg gehen zu lassen. Lassen Sie Ihr Kind erwachsen werden - ihre Kinder ihren Weg laufen lassen Wenn Kinder in die Schule kommen oder aufs College gehen, oder ihren Abschluss gemacht haben, werden Eltern mit der Realität des heranwachsenden Kindes, Jugendlichen, oder jungen Erwachsenen konfrontiert. Die Elternteile stehen plötzlich vor der Aufgabe, die elterliche Bindung, die er von Geburt an hatte, loszulassen. Diese Vorstellung des „Loslassens“ kann ein Maß an Angst hervorrufen, auf das die meisten Eltern nicht vorbereitet sind, und zwar in einem Ausmaß, mit dem sie nicht gerechnet haben. Viele berichten von Trauer- und Verlustgefühlen. Lassen Sie in jeder Phase der Entwicklung Ihres Kindes etwas los. Bestimmte Ereignisse in der Entwicklung Ihres Kindes markieren den Zeitpunkt, an dem ...