An Alternative to Positive Thinking - Principles to Build Self-Confidence by Stoic Thinking
Friends advise you to "hold out hope." Gurus of self-improvement advocate for "the law of attraction." My heart and soul are filled with 'Aye' and 'Nae'. Because thinking like this only breeds disappointment, despair, and anxiety. (Why, in your opinion, do most people lack productivity and low self-esteem?)
Instead, I developed a life strategy that is actually much more effective for me: I began practicing stoicism without realizing it was that.
This article will outline / list five essential Stoic concepts which helped me and I hope that they will help you "upgrade" your thinking and gain confidence in your ability to accomplish ´'challenges of life'.
Develop mind power
All humans possess the ability to think, feel, and use their minds. Thoughts give us opinions about other people, things, and ourselves. These opinions can cause us to feel joy, fear, anger, anxiety, and other emotions. Like the trees, mountains, and rivers that the senses perceive, thoughts and emotions are also projected into consciousness. Concurrently, our minds function as the movie projectors, selecting which movies to show and offering a continuous commentary on the proceedings.
You are the master of your own mind, according to the first Stoic lesson. You are in control of it, and you can choose to change the reel or step away from it completely at any time (just like we do when we meditate). Having an internal locus of control frees you from the ego mind's constant reiteration of its anxieties, annoyances, and desires. Alternatively, you may choose to think the thoughts that take you from suffering to peace.
Recognize reality as it is, not how you would like it to be
According to certain reports and studies, a common issue among many individuals seeking therapy is the desire for life to be different from what it is. To which all counselors have the same standard response: "Tough shit." That's a lot more direct than what most therapists, including myself, would say. However, it does contain a sliver of truth.
The Stoics held that the mind constantly conjures up images of reality, some of which are remarkably accurate and others of which are wildly inaccurate. Anxiety or insanity are the outcomes when the image and reality diverge too much.
For instance, I get dumped by someone. I refuse to let go of the past and cling to it. I cling to the belief that without the other, my life would be intolerable. My suffering is increasing because there is a difference now between my life as it is and the life I believe I should have. I can stop the internal struggle and move on when I use the power of acceptance.
The same issue occurs when we fight against other unfavorable life circumstances, like illness, failures at work, interpersonal conflict, financial difficulties, and the passing of loved ones. Our anguish is exacerbated by our ego's insistence that things go the way we want.
Choose carefully which thoughts and ideas you give attention to
The Stoics pointed to the fact that all human beings have reason. Thus giving us the power to examine, criticise and reject thoughts that do not serve us.
By doing this, we are endowed with the ability to choose between different points of view. The fundamental inquiries we ought to pose of any idea are:
- Is this thought or idea accurate?
- Is this thought or idea something I have any control over?
- Is this thought or idea useful?
- What would be a more sensible approach, thought or idea?
Approximately 80% of our thoughts are useless to us, as a general guideline. These include thoughts that just serve to divert us, worries, ego-demands, negative judgments, and anxious or depressing thoughts.
The Stoics contended that people ought to think less, not more, because of this. focusing on other people, physical labor, spending time in nature, exercising, meditating, listening to music, and anything else that brought calm instead.
The two things that the Stoics advise us to do when faced with negative thoughts are either: a) utilize reason to push the thought aside, or b) divert our focus to something constructive.
The first choice is the one used for thought control in cognitive-behavioral therapy techniques.
Pay attention and put you focus only to what you can control.
This has to do with the wish or mistake of hoping for a different outcome from what is actually the case. The majority of life events, however, are beyond our control. There are a lot of outside factors and events that affect us. Our parents, the family and society we are born into, our opportunities, our physical characteristics, or our place in life are all outside of our control.
For instance, we may have the (depressing) thought that we are failures. We shift our focus to the task at hand after realizing that "success" and "failure" are relative concepts and that we have no control over what other people think of us. Rather than labeling ourselves, we ask ourselves, "What can I do today to improve my position in life?"
Upon closer inspection, we discover that concerns regarding "weakness," "failure," "loneliness," etc., are actually just excuses for self-pity. We stay in that trap when we dwell on the past and the (imagined) future.
Nor should we think that success is owed to us after taking the initial step toward accomplishing something tangible. Because we can only control the amount of effort we put into our work—not the result. The Stoics were as much about practicing apathy toward the fruits of action as they were about worldly prosperity. Their only goal was peace.
Recognize the opportunities in setbacks or of misfortunes
One method used in stoic thought is the reversal, which involves viewing upsetting events from a completely different angle. Rather than responding to issues, they enquired:
- "What lesson in life can I take away from this?"
- "How can I take advantage of this?"
- "What are the strengths I am being invited to cultivate?"
- What role model can I be for others? (Partners, kids, friends, etc.)
That is how misfortunes become chances. The next time someone misbehaves in your presence, try to picture them as good angels in disguise. who consented to come in order to impart knowledge to you. The outcome might surprise you.
Remain focused on the here and now -or in other words keep your attention on the present moment
Another source of distress, according to stoicism, is the human tendency to live in the past or the future. Since neither is under our control, they are both meaningless. The past is beyond our control, and the future is an unknown quantity. Furthermore, dwelling on the past or the future shuts us off from the opportunities that are present right now.
Seneca, was a Stoic philosopher of Ancient Rome, he said: “True happiness is to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future, not to amuse ourselves with either hopes or fears but to rest satisfied with what we have, which is sufficient, for he that is so wants nothing. The greatest blessings of mankind are within us and within our reach. A wise man is content with his lot, whatever it may be, without wishing for what he has not.”
Remain mindful of the bigger picture - Keep a sense of perspective
Not just stoics but also non-stoics regularly practice this form of meditation, in which we progressively rise above and beyond our physical bodies with all of its worries and concerns. extending our awareness to encompass the entire cosmos and all of infinity beyond it. It serves as a helpful reminder that the problems we face today are temporary and that we are but a small part of a larger universe.
It also connects us to a greater consciousness that persists beyond the life we have now, restoring us to a sense of perspective on what might (or might not) happen to us today.
- Whether you are sitting or lying down, take a moment to become aware of your body in this room. To facilitate this, focusing on the breath can be helpful.
- Now broaden your awareness until the entire space is included.
- Increase your awareness to encompass the entire surrounding next to you and even the building or house.
- Now broaden your awareness to include the street and surrounding area where your house is located.
There are people who are able to continue to broaden their awareness to encompass their nation, continent, this planet Earth, the solar system, this galaxy, and the universe, which is home to all of these galaxies - but believe me that is far to much for me - but I will mention it just for completeness.
Your comments are very welcome - even I will not publish them. I read, reply (if possible and necessary) but what I most often do I will learn from your comment. Thx
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