Mental Health - Widower Experience (WX)

Every day we are faced with choices, big and small, that can influence how we feel about ourselves and our lives.  A choice point is a moment in time when we get to choose, get to the feeling that we have to or should choose between being consistent or inconsistent with what we do, how we do something, think about things - think about our values, life. It might be a moment where we face the eternal conundrum of ‘to a dessert or not to eat a dessert?’ or the choice between staying in a job we struggle with or even hate or seeking a more fulfilling one. The choices we make in these situations can make a big difference as to whether we experience more moments of ‘Yes, I am who I am and I want to live 'my life'!’ or ‘Ugh! I suck! What is my life!?’. It’s not always easy to identify when these choice points occur, but with practice and support, it can be easier. I already wrote about challenges in life - and in this context it is or might be worth to check them out... Dealing With C...

Have you ever asked yourself or wondered why we set off any kind of celebrations on special days like birthdays, anniversaries or for instance on New Year’s Eve? - Well substantially  and essentially it's about dealing with change. Dealing with change and adjusting to change doesn’t have to be as stressful as it often is - but whether we like it, want it, or what ever - from time to time there are changes which do or will be challenging.. And even you know this quote - let me phrase it again: Change is an inevitable part of life. It happens whether we’re ready or not.  Change is everywhere and continually in our lives. Regardless, change can be difficult and threatening to deal with. Going back to the mentioned celebrations of birthdays, anniversaries or for instance on New Year’s Eve. Celebrating these milestones and changes we set a marker, we set off fireworks, make as much noise as we can, and for instance - taking about New Year's Eve - we hope that all that light and noi...

Life is challenging - if it would not be challenging - I firmly believe life would be boring. I have and everyone has power over my / their mind (in most cases - and if not it's OK as well) ... but I do not and nobody has this power regarding outside events. Realise this, and you will find serenity, patience, and resilience - at least I believe so. Behaviours, beliefs, values, biases and perceptions of other people are outside the reach of our control, and as such they are things that we need to learn to accept. My understanding and learning of life is that we can’t escape these things, we can’t escape contact with people we disagree with, we can’t escape people we find rude or abrasive, all we can do is learn to accept them so that they lessen the impact on our peace of mind, while at the same time working on developing ourselves to act in a way that aligns with who we want to be. These thoughts came to my mind while I have to deal once again with lost, suizid events next to me an...

Life is like an American football game - to win you have to make a play call. Knowing which call to make comes with insights and knowledge, and by watching and understanding  own abilities and circumstances by learning the lessons that are acculated along the way of every game, season and their wins and losses. The other team or other circumstances will test your limits, but stay consistent and positive. We become each and every piece within the game called life! Opportunities, an Obstacles, and Challenges In my life I often thought about the difference between an opportunity , an obstacleand challenges? Since a long I am a firm believer the difference of it are the attitude toward it. Every opportunity has a difficulty, and every difficulty has a challenge, and every challenge has an opportunity - and of the three is true vici verse. We need each other - whether you still have the picture of an American football team in mind or your business team or family or friendship circle. We...

Telling family, relatives and friends that one would like to die is not easy. And it is one of the most challenging, saddest and therefore most stressful tasks that you can imagine - but writing a letter to your partner, family and friends is helpful for really everyone - as it is the path to awareness and self-awareness. When it comes to dying - everyone wishes it would never happened to them.  My wife 'wrote' such an letter and explained why she want to die, want to die with dignity. As she was not anymore able to type it on her own - she did it together with her best girl friend - and they met exactly ten times to note it down - then her girl friend copied the letter out fair. The final version was 4 pages long. The first person (beside of myself) who read it was her mother. And really everyone was happy to hear, to read my wife's own words, her thoughts why she loved to live and what she loved - and to understand why her life is no life anymore - just existing - loosing...

Let us be honest - we all know those days when life seems to be extremely cruel to us?  Life is full of its ups and downs. One day, we may feel like we have it all figured out. Then we have the feeling that life gives us again and again lemons. Or the morning when you find out that you ran out of coffee, the 'Nutella' / peanut butter is empty, or your mascara decides to attack you, or when your wardrobe for some reason is hiding all your good clothes from you, ...  Please don't forget, we all have bad days, and we are all allowed to have them. The feeling and moments of thinking that life gives us only lemons. You’re not alone in these feelings. Everyone has to face their own varieties and types of lemons and challenges .  Everyone has their own choices for how to face a challenge in life or to deal with lemons.  However, there are a few good tips and tricks to follow when the going gets tough. Take your pick from the following list! 1. Look around you - Yo...