Mental Health - Widower Experience (WX)

In Ergänzung zu meinem Blog-Beitrag Recht auf selbstbestimmtes Sterben und meinem Letzten Blog Beitrag: Überblick über assistierter Sterbehilfe weltweit  und auf Bitten verschiedener Rückfragen gerne auch wieder einen Artikel auf Deutsch zur Sterbehilfe, Formen der Sterbehilfe und Gesetzeslage. Formen der Sterbehilfe Aktive Sterbehilfe Als aktive Sterbehilfe bezeichnet man die Tötung eines anderen Menschen auf seinen ausdrücklichen Wunsch hin. Beihilfe zum selbstbestimmten Sterben Die Beihilfe zur Sterbehilfe und Freitod, auch assistierte Sterbehilfe betitelt, oder auch Suizidbeihilfe und assistierter Suizid genannt, ist das Beschaffen und/oder Bereitstellen der Mittel für einen Sterbewilligen. Indirekte Sterbehilfe Die indirekte Sterbehilfe wiederum bezeichnet einen Fall, in dem Medikamente verabreicht werden, die zur Linderung von Leiden führen sollen wie Schmerzen oder Angst, aber gleichzeitig einen vorzeitigen Tod bewirken können. Ein Beispiel für diese Form ist die Verabreich...

Source of graphic:  wikipedia - Author of the graphic Vgonzalez630 Nothing is more personal than how we define a good life . a life with dignity and as well a death with dignity.  Dignity can be found in having that final choice, knowing that the dying person has control of a future, however limited, and the end-of-life decisions important to them. Taking care of all what matters in life, death and what might will follow often gives peace of mind to those contemplating death, contributing to their emotional well-being, and helping to assure a dignified dying process.  We all need legal boundary conditions - these are the conditions I collected for several states: Legality of assisted suicide in ... Belgium In Belgium, it can be part of a doctor's job to end a patient's life. It's been the law since 2002.  Belgium has the most liberal euthanasia law in the world. And even though this country is predominantly Roman Catholic, surveys show overwhelming support here ...

If you think about dying with dignity - you might have in mind to take that final choice out of the hands of a 'higher power' and putting it squarely in your hands. To die at a good place, or as my wife did, at home in her own comfortable lounge chair with loved ones is a good final moment. It’s about the quality of life, not the quantity of life. And we as intelligent beings should be able to make those choices ourselves, not some stranger who knows nothing about us. But in order to that - you have to talk to your spouse, your family and friends. And I firmly suggest to start to compose a piece of writing. Make up your mind (and this may surprise you) about the good and positive things in your life ... ... what you want ... what you love, ... what makes YOUR life worth living, ... where, when and how do YOU enjoy life, ... how do you want to see yourself Then think about what you don't want ... the dark sides, the negative things you won't experience ... ...

I lost my wife - but not my love. We never had a wedding ring - even we talked so often to get rings made out of wood - as my wife had a metal allergy. Now I have one made out of limewood - as my wife was buried under a tilia / lime-tree. For me this wedding ring shows a promise, a pledge of love. And it will always connects me to my wife.

Sometimes you understand the worth of good days long after they are gone. What I learned in my life and much more in the reasoned years, and much more months - enjoy the moment. I am - You are - Everyone is experiencing chances, occasions, and opportunities each and every day, but do we see them is the point. To see them we must be open to all thoughts. And when opportunities of happiness occur, slow down. Give yourself permission to lighten up. - Smile and enjoy the moment! Some days I wish - I could go back in life or time. - NOT to change anything, BUT to feel a few things twice. Often it only takes a picture or one good song to bring back thousands of  memories. E.g. this song by Pink Floyd - it was one of the song my wife asked me to play during her funeral.

Serenity is a state of sovereignty and freedom and overcoming sense of anxiety. People who have mastered Serenity are not so easily disturbed, hardly panic and certainly not get upset about little things. Rather, their serenity gives them inner freedom and security so that they can deal with problems confidently and relaxed. It is the attitude and ability to deal with difficult situations and not to lose your temper. In addition to the typical triggers of life in the form of external attacks, there are a few other factors that can challenge your composure and ensure that all good resolutions for more inner calm are immediately thrown overboard. A common problem: serenity is the exception. Most people are constantly in a mood that they are tensed up or unstrung up , get excited more than needed , debate, talk themselves into a rage, let themselves be pissed off and also freak out every now and then. Constant tension is normal, especially at work, and is sometimes expected. It is ...

The death ended my wife’s life, but not my love for her. I still love my wife - even there is no reply anymore. Process of mourning  When I think about my process of mourning and my learning of mourning - I think it is important to realize the absence of the deceased. But at the same time, however, there is also the strong wish to be able to continue living this love - for sure in a different form. If I / you can manage to find a way to do it - to continue this love, I firmly believe - it can be a great resource for future life without the deceased. The pain as a constant companion of grief is there, but hope also accompanies it! I have the feeling, the worry … that it will be not easy and also hardly noticeable at first and in the near future, but I believe that it will grow more and more. And I already feel it has become easier while I talk about my wife and the steps my wife and I took, and how my wife got to her decision. Talking to friends, grief counselors, in self-help gr...

Life often gets tough, but just remember:  You can handle anything. Calm mind brings inner strength and self-confidence, so that's very important for a good life. Suicidality is a taboo all over the world and thoughts of suicide are often seen as a taboo. This taboo can prevent people in challenging times and suicidal crises from confiding in others - perhaps out of shame or feelings of guilt about their own thoughts or out of fear of not being understood or of overwhelming those around them. I think being in an extreme situation, seeing oneself in an unanswerable or unresolvable condition and times … and thoughts of suicide are not something to be ashamed of. Ignoring or hiding thoughts of suicide usually only helps for a short time because the underlying problem is not solved. If someone has no one in their environment with whom they can talk about their thoughts, there are people they can confide in, e.g. family, doctors, psychotherapists and telephone counseling serv...

Since I was a little boy it was without question and beyond doubt for myself and my understanding - that living and designing go together. Design isn’t just about making things look appealing, or just about usability, or even just delight. It is about taking something from being usable to delightful, and then beyond that — to meaningful. And I hope that everyone of you agrees that life must cover the same. Life must be appealing - and only you can define what is appealing for you Life must be usable - easy to use - reducing hurdles and obstacles, and errors And most of all life has to be delightful and meaningful to you - and beyond that it is you - your most precious treasure Remembering the quote by Joseph Beuys ... “Every human being is an artist, a freedom being, called to participate in transforming and reshaping the conditions, thinking and structures that shape and inform our lives.” ― Joseph Beuys … it should remind us to design our life. Even the tools will vary -...

My wife and I always tried to follow our dreams and our understanding of joy and happiness. And now I have to dream on my own. And my leading thought regarding ‘dreams’ is that I firmly believed and still do that there is only one way to happiness and that is to abate worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will. And in the reasoned weeks I learned that there is a philosophy which is almost congruent with my way of thinking and acting, the philosophy of stoicism which I mentioned in a post before .   Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway. The key to realizing a dream is to focus not on success but significance – and then even the small steps and little victories along your path will take on greater meaning. Nothing in the world can take the place of endurance and patience - even I have to admit if it comes to patience I am really bad - but said that I have to work on myself as well :-) . That...