Mental Health - Widower Experience (WX)

New Year's Eve - late at night Remembering of the recent years Thinking of my girl I've had so long Along my face are running the tears All the emotions I currently feel, Seeing all the shadows around me so strong Lost love is scariest and hardest to heal. mixed emotions, but at least I'm not sad Holding onto happiness that my wife and I had, When you ask me why ` we close our eyes when we pray,  as well when we cry,  kiss or dream - that is easy to say Because the most beautiful things in life  are not seen but felt by the heart. Isn't it smart?

Life is like an American football game - to win you have to make a play call. Knowing which call to make comes with insights and knowledge, and by watching and understanding  own abilities and circumstances by learning the lessons that are acculated along the way of every game, season and their wins and losses. The other team or other circumstances will test your limits, but stay consistent and positive. We become each and every piece within the game called life! Opportunities, an Obstacles, and Challenges In my life I often thought about the difference between an opportunity , an obstacleand challenges? Since a long I am a firm believer the difference of it are the attitude toward it. Every opportunity has a difficulty, and every difficulty has a challenge, and every challenge has an opportunity - and of the three is true vici verse. We need each other - whether you still have the picture of an American football team in mind or your business team or family or friendship circle. We...

Telling family, relatives and friends that one would like to die is not easy. And it is one of the most challenging, saddest and therefore most stressful tasks that you can imagine - but writing a letter to your partner, family and friends is helpful for really everyone - as it is the path to awareness and self-awareness. When it comes to dying - everyone wishes it would never happened to them.  My wife 'wrote' such an letter and explained why she want to die, want to die with dignity. As she was not anymore able to type it on her own - she did it together with her best girl friend - and they met exactly ten times to note it down - then her girl friend copied the letter out fair. The final version was 4 pages long. The first person (beside of myself) who read it was her mother. And really everyone was happy to hear, to read my wife's own words, her thoughts why she loved to live and what she loved - and to understand why her life is no life anymore - just existing - loosing...

Today I like to share with you one of my favorite songs.  The song was written by Rutherford and Robertson after both of their fathers had recently died, but the lyrics were written by Robertson, and centered on the unresolved issues between him and his father. It's all about the lack of communication between him and his father before his father died. I mentioned and repeat my advice and recommendation talking to your beloved ones to your family and friends - telling them always one more often that you love them, how important they are for you. Something I realized and realize more and more - more and more intensive - that you might and can kiss your beloved ones, your family and friends goodbye and put miles between you, but at the same time you carry them with you in your heart, your mind, your stomach, ... with every fiber of my being - because you do not just live in a world but a world lives in you. No matter how many miles or 'dimensions' separate us, we will alwa...

When and why a person perceives their life as bearable or even successful, or when and why one would rather want to be dead, cannot generally defined or is  generally applicable or universally valid and true for each and everyone - the answer is unique - and that makes it complicate - but anyway decisions about dead or alive are and should be never easy. There are people, who have already killed themselves - who in the opinion of most other people, did not have the slightest reason for it - while on the other hand many seriously ill and severely disabled people fight tenaciously for their lives or for a better quality of life.  Obviously, whether a life is worth living depends not only on external, universal, or objective factors - not only I am a firm believer and fighter for individual attitudes, behavior and thinking how someone want to live their life but as well when they want to end it / pull the ripcord. Anyone whoever thought about themself, about their life, all ...

Archbishop Desmond Tutu has died at the age of 90 Desmond Tutu has said he would like the option of ending his life through assisted dying as he called on politicians, lawmakers and religious leaders to take action on the issue. In an article published about 7 years ago -  the emeritus archbishop of Cape Town and anti-apartheid activist reiterated his support for assisted dying: "Dying people should have the right to choose how and when they leave Mother Earth" Please read the original text on The Guardian  or if it is not longer available Here is a copy: Desmond Tutu plea for 'assisted dying' before historic Lords debate During all my years of pastoral care, I have never had the privilege of being with someone when they die. I've visited dying colleagues and friends at St Luke's hospice, Cape Town, in the last period of their lives; I've witnessed their being cared for beautifully – but I've never been there at the exact moment of passing. I've be...

The feeling of grief and loss is part of life. We all know loved ones will leave us, but when the time comes, it usually pulls the rug out from under one's feet and one is loosing the ground under their feet, even as in my case I thought I could / might prepare myself - Forget it! Death also shows us that our time on earth is transitory - nothing lasts forever. Deep down inside, we think we or the people we love are immortal / will live forever. Christmas can be a time of heightened emotion, grief and anxiety for those who have been bereaved. That's why I am writing today this article and why I wrote this one a few days ago: ' Mourning in the Holiday Season ' Six months ago I lost my wife after taking care on her for 11 years. Years before I lost my grandparents, other family members, friends and comrades in arms. So I thought I would be 'trained' in dealing with the issues of death and dying. And as my wife and I talked a lot in her years of loosing year by yea...

 6 months after my wife died -  I start this day with one of my wife's and my most favorite concerts and artists - perhaps you will find time to watching and listening too  Listen to the great songs and lyrics ... ... but also watch and enjoy the choreography, stage elaboration from a 'construction area' to an environment of dance, joy and fun Enjoy life and see the beauty in everything and believe in you Believe in yourself. You are braver than you think, more talented than you know, and capable of more than you imagine. Live the Life of Your Dreams! When you start living the life of your dreams, there will always be obstacles, doubters, mistakes and setbacks along the way. But with hard work, perseverance and self-belief there is no limit to what you can achieve. As the stage elaborates bit by bit, song by song - do it for yourself too Your Mirror by Simply Red I've got to stand up for myself This society don't care about nobody else I've got to be strong Even...

Life's what you make it Even joy in life is faded You can't escape it Sure you can hate it Nothing can change it And nobody can back date it Please, don't try to shade it Beauty is often buried Make the best of it Celebrate it Anticipate it Life's what you make it And a quote by Eleanor Roosevelt “ Life is what you make it. Always has been, always will be. ” May the new year bring you and yours health , prosperity ,  peace , and a lot of good moments of joy , and happiness .  Let your dreams leave positive marks in the new year! All the best to all of you!

In der Diskussion um Sterbehilfe und dem Selbstbestimmungsrecht des Menschen auf Selbsttötung, sehen ich keinen Grund, warum der Mensch den Zeitpunkt seines eigenen Todes nicht selber festlegen und sich das Leben nehmen darf.  Ist es nicht unser aller Wunsch sanft aus dem Leben scheiden, das möchte wohl jeder. Insbesondere wenn das Leben schon leidvoll ist, dass man es beenden will. Oft hört man und liest man, dass das Sterbefasten der Weg dazu sei. Doch wie sanft ist Sterbefasten wirklich? Der freiwillige Verzicht auf Nahrung und Flüssigkeit mit der Absicht, aus dem Leben zu scheiden (FVNF), auch „Sterbefasten“ genannt, wird zunehmend als Alternative zur Tötung auf Verlangen diskutiert. Eine andere Abkürzung bzw. Bezeichnung ist auch FVET „Freiwillige Verzicht auf Essen und Trinken“. Wird das Sterbefasten von Fachpersonen begleitet wird es oft als würdevoll beschrieben – aber es gibt auch viele andere Aussagen – ich kann hier keine Zahlen liefern. Aber es läßt sich sagen...