Unbearable Lightness of Being and Dying

In a society in which grief can be experienced, shown and perhaps even can run free, the past, present and future are connected.

For me - that#s how I feel it and experiencing it mourning means honoring the past and making the future possible. 

There is no life without goodbyes and no aliveness, spontaneousness or love without experiencing loss and change. The time of mourning is a crisis, is a change of 'culture' for oneself but as well for the environment - and experiencing, living, and showing that you are feeling bad, that you have good moments, moments of reminding, ... and so many more experiences with mourning - the rollercoaster of emotions - must have or should have effects on society - therefore also these crisis will have effects on the present society and in the future viability of society.

Opportunities, moments, acts, occurrences of mourning are a very central means, action points or points and opportunities to pause for a moment  of actualizing personal closeness to the deceased, the loved one. 

Finding ways, terms and conditions for yourself, family and in society

In addition to social ties and networks, the place of burial is of great importance for coping with the grief overall - I love to knowing my wife in a forest - she had a tree burial - her body ashes were buried within the root system of a tree of a lime tree in a forest. Now almost every forest is a place where I can be next to her. Nevertheless, the location for the feeling of closeness has a very central function for the bereaved. Places of burial can consciously bring about memories of the deceased. In this way, a special closeness, a feeling of connectedness is created that allows mourners to "communicate" with the deceased and thus maintain the connection to the deceased.

In this up-keeping and maintenance of a connection or relationship with the dead lies the possibility of filling the inner emptiness, but also of coming to your own terms between oneself and the deceased - how to go on - with which relation to the lost and death. It hopefully becomes the basis for an inner optimism about the future.

I see a quite clear distinction between mourning and commemoration - and I think for a number of people it is very important knowing this: commemoration should take place when the pain of mourning has been overcome, but one would like to remember.
However, commemoration follows other principles: Unlike mourning, remembering the deceased can also be something easy – This lightness, being open for emotions or even lightheartedness, this release from the severity of grief is something that has so far hardly been possible at our cemeteries in most country.

Sometimes I call it 'unbearable lightness of being and dying' - accepting the death and that people we loved and still love are missing.