'Being-for-yourself' vs Loneliness - Self-Awarness

'Being-for-yourself' and 'alone-time' on the one hand and loneliness on the other hand are two very different animals.     

And being alone doesn't mean turning your back on the world. On the contrary: It's about learning or having been learned to enjoy my own unaccompanied presence and to be happy with myself.  That is something I wish so many people. And sure there are moments and situations I still are learning.

Being alone with no distractions. only me with myself. Why? Everyone has their reasons or their circumstance - perhaps because you live alone or because you are planned or unplanned without company right at a certain moment or time - during this pandemic, we have been isolated from others. While for many this isolation is spent with their families, some people are socially separated from all. In these times, the feeling of being lonely is a common response.

And yes - when it gets quiet around you, your thoughts suddenly become very loud.
Then questions arise:

  • How do I live my life?
  • Am I happy at all?
  • Why am I even alone right now?
Many find it so difficult to be alone because they suddenly hear clearly what they actively try to ignore in everyday life.
When we spend time alone with ourselves, we embark on a journey of self-knowledge and self-growth. Being alone can be quintessential in promoting a healthier and more educated outlook on all aspects of life.

I'll try to reach you a helping hand and if possible, I like to show you how to deal with it better.


How can you overcome the fear of being alone?

If you embark on the path of personal development, after a while you will notice that certain practices are becoming more and more natural in your life. A lot is changing little by little. Thoughts become more conscious and concrete:

  • What am I thinking?
  • What do I say?
  • How do i live my life?
  • What are hindering habits on my way that need to be shaken off?



Being alone may not come to many people naturally. Initially, it might make you uncomfortable and frustrated but try this ...

  • Plan it out - Take aside a weekend or commit an hour or two of your day to 'time of being-for-yourself”. Don’t try to force alone time. It may leave you feeling irritable and destructive.

  • Avoid distractions - Try to leave your digital devices behind while spending time alone. Focus on doing something that makes you feel happy and content. It might be difficult to manage in the beginning but once you’re comfortable with alone time, these distractions will not bother you.

  • Value your time - Remember the importance of 'time of being-for-yourself” and its benefits. Spending time with your thoughts can make you more creative and understanding. Practice mindfulness and try to connect with yourself.


Things You Can Do By Yourself

  • Enjoy a meal - an awesome breakfast, lunch or dinner. Treat yourself to a meal and enjoy the experience of eating in peace and solitude.

  • Go see a movie - only you and the movie - and enjoy it without any distractions. Watching a movie alone can help you see the film and understand the story without thinking about your friends.

  • Participate in activities you like - Doing something you enjoy in solitude is a great way to truly experience the activity. It is also a great way to make friends with similar interests.

  • Going for a walk - a walk in nature alone can help you focus on the little things that it has to offer. 

  • Traveling - traveling alone is also an amazing way to truly enjoy and experience the world by focusing on your interests rather than your companions’.



Find your constructive and positive paths to deal with loneliness:

  • Get Active - Activities are good for your body, we all know that - but activities are in the same amount good for your soul and mind. Walk, run, dance, and / or do whatever you like - what moves your body and soul.

  • Get Interesting - Engage with your passions and learn. When have you been at a museum for the last time? When did you do something where and when you lost yourself in a good flow of emotions?


  • Get Healthy - Invest in your body and mind, eat well and move more

  • Get Social - Start Small, Expand as your confidence grows


  • Get Real and Positive- Think about, see and understand your triggers of feeling lonely. And then focus yourself / your attention on good things which makes you feel good, makes you happy, things which you want, you can handle and you can control to fight loneliness.


Closing thought - Benefits of Being Alone

Long-term exposure to alone time can be harmful to one or two – mentally and physically. But there are some benefits of alone time as long as your 'time of being-for-yourself” is balanced properly with social participation. And one last thought: It is hard to love yourself if you never spend time with yourself 'time of being-for-yourself'' is necessary, healthy and good.

And I tell you this as someone who loved his wife so much, and we both loved to live in societies - loved to work in team - whether the team members have or had two legs, or four legs - whether they neighed or whinnied (our horses) or panted or barked (my sled dogs).

Nothing big can be achieved without your inner strength, self-awareness, faith and hope for a better future and believe in yourself. Have courage and everything will turn out for the best.





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