Grieving - How to deal with 'days of remembrance'

The day, the hour and minute my wife decided to pass away - the day, hour and minute she did it and when she was buried I will never ever forget.
I know the word 'anniversary' is the one we use for such days - but in this context of dying, I do not like it - as I connect the word 'anniversary' with joy and fun - positive events.
That's why I prefer the words: 'day of remembrance'

Grief is a natural response to loss - and if you really loved someone, something - grief will stay as long as you remember the loved one - and that is OK. In the first days, the pain of loss can feel overwhelming. You may experience all kinds of difficult and unexpected emotions, from shock or anger to disbelief, guilt, and profound sadness.Whatever type of loss you’ve suffered, there’s no right or wrong way of grieving - and a mixture or selection of these feelings will come up from time to time. from experiences to experiences even after years - and this OK as well.
Plan ahead for grief 'triggers' - like such a day of remembrance, holidays, and important milestones can reawaken painful memories and feelings. Be prepared for an emotional wallop, and know that it’s completely normal. You can plan ahead by making sure that you’re not alone, for example, or by marking your loss in a creative way, your way - a way which is good for you.

In this article I like to share my suggestions how you may want to find ways to recognize both your loved one’s death and acknowledge the funeral years after it has occurred. Doing so can breathe more meaning into your mourning and healing process and honor your loved one:

• Visit a place your loved one and you loved - I am not talking about the gravesite, burial place - and don't get me wrong, if it's the best place for you do it. But I mainly I am talking about a good place - a place combined with good memories, at the beach, in the mountains, at the river, or a place in a city, a café, restaurant, ... you know better than I where it might be. A beach, a bench at a river might be a healing place for many people, but you may want to pick one that’s known for being less crowded, at least for this occasion.
• Cook or order a large meal - I am not talking bigger than Thanksgiving and Christmas combined 😎. Cook or order a massive meal made of your loved one’s favorite treats. Enlist your family to help in the kitchen or to gather supplies - or invite friends, your neighbors. Or go out for a dinner, but again keep in mind that emotions will or might come up - choose an environment, location, place where nobody must choke feelings.
• Throw a celebration of life ceremony - A celebration of life ceremony offers an entirely different take on the idea of funerals and memorials. If you feel as though the funeral for your loved one was too sad (or perhaps adequately sad) and you’d like to remember him or her a bit more joyously, consider a celebration of life. 
• And for myself - Putting emotions down in writing down - for example by writing a poem.

Remember my Wife's Funeral - 2 years ago
For my wife on this day of remembrance:

My love is gone, she suffered so long
My love is gone, everything feels so wrong
Emotions and a depth so deep
challenging feelings called grief
You were simply my beloved wife
I don't know for certain how I'll live my life
Two years and still I can't believe
I've lost the very best of me.
you were my joy, my treasure, 
in the recent years we had and forever,
you are in my heart,
we will never be apart.

Former articles about grief and coping with grief and loss.