To where does my life extend, and where does the night begin?

During my years as EMT paramedic, as medical orderly and even more since my wife fell ill, during the decade my wife and often talked about the question "what is 'life' "- and what defines life - what enriches one's own life. And when does twilight embrace the individual - where does the night begin?

"To where does my life extend, and where does the night begin?"

This is a line of a poem by Rainer Maria Rilke: "The Lover" / "Die Liebende" - You will find the English and German poem at the end of this article

How does the individual define this 'night' and to what extent each individual wants and can prepare himself internally and externally for it?!

And it goes on - to which extent can and should dying be part of a self-determined life and whether the individual person takes  a assisted dying, assisted suicide regarding a self-determination dying into account is and should be up to the individual person.

When making decisions for or against life-sustaining medical measures, the patient's will and declaration of  their intent should always be the main focus. When it comes to this declaration of will - I think and it plays an or THE important role for myself and in my understanding - is the way how the individual's expression of will was or can be determined and secured - and in addition to that or in best case that it is / was also repeatedly confirmed or specified. I am saying this because it will give a save feeling to each of the people who should help the one.

From my point of view, the self-determination of an individual life - especially during the twilight and the night of life / the last phase of life - must and should always be the guideline.

The political discussion focuses primarily on the question of the legal anchoring and binding nature of living wills, preventive and care powers as well as medical and pharmaceutical law - all of these are important and indispensable factors.

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To die dignified is the wish of all of us - I cannot imagine that there is only one person who does not wish this for himself and his loved ones. That is why I ask myself all the more how some do not want to admit this wish. I think the fear of pain, long suffering and infirmity is a fear of all of us - in my years as a medical orderly, I saw this fear as well in the eyes of grown men too - and I can't let go / can not forget their eyes, faces and stories - all to often about their mums  ...

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And I see another aspect in the demographic development with its development opportunities, such as a largely self-determined phase of life in old age in a high quality. 

At the same time, however, the debate about the scope of medical services for older people is already going on - not only in Germany. Here, too, it is not only about questions of financial feasibility, although this is an extremely important factor that has to be looked at honestly as I looked at in a previously created article (Only published in German) . But also about the will, the values ​​of our society with regard to the dignity of the individual in old age and the process and understanding of dying.

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The discussion and debate about terminal care needs to be conducted more intensively and thoroughly. For everyone - really everyone - it is about existentially important questions of being, dignity and death.

This debate is closely connected to the challenges of demographic change and the problems of financing the health system and nursing care and as well the palliative medicine. It is unbearable that many people have to suffer unnecessarily and that one or two are looking to escape by suicide - all too often a dirty / violent suicide - because the way to and path of assisted or passive euthanasia or, in exceptional cases, “active euthanasia” are closed.

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It's my personal conviction that, such questions determine the humanity of our society and our future, which must not only be guided by economic aspects.

In the course of the discussions and political decisions on health and dying, we have to consciously set emphasis and attention on favor / brotherly love regarding how we tread old, disabled people, and if it gets to the worst about palliative medicine and end-of-life care.

I started with a quote of a poem by Rainer Maria Rilke and would like end with a quote by Carl Spitzweg:

"Often I think of death, the bitter, / And how do I end it ?! / I want to die very gently in my sleep / And be dead when I wake up!"

Perhaps you like to listen / watch the following youtube-video:

Music: SCORPIONS 
Vocals: Klaus Meine and Zabine
Lyrics based on “The Lover”, a poem by RAINER MARIA RILKE 

This post / article is available in German as well - Bis wohin reicht mein Leben, und wo beginnt die Nacht

Rainer Maria Rilke: "The Lover"

This is my window. A moment ago
I woke up so softly.
I thought I would float.
To where does my life extend,
and where does the night begin?
I could think that everything
were still me all around;
translucent as a crystal's
depths, darkened, dumb.
I could also contain the stars
inside me still; so large
does my heart appear to me; so gladly
it released him away again
whom I began perhaps to love,
perhaps began to hold.
Strange, as something never-described,
my fate looks at me.
For what am I laid under this
Infinity
fragrant as a meadow,
moved here and there,
calling out at the same time and afraid
that someone will hear the call,
and determined to find my downfall
in another.




Rainer Maria Rilke: "Die Liebende"

  
Das ist mein Fenster 
Eben bin ich so sanft erwacht 
Ich dachte ich würde schweben 
Bis wohin reicht mein Leben 
Und wo beginnt die Nacht? 
Ich könnte meinen alles wäre noch 
Ich ringsum durchsichtig wie eines Kristalles 
Tiefe verdunkelt stumm 
Ich könnte auch noch die Sterne fassen in mir 
So groß scheint mir mein Herz 
So gerne ließ es ihn wieder los
Den ich vielleicht zu lieben 
Vielleicht zu halten begann 
Fremd, wie niebeschrieben 
Sieht mich mein Schicksal an 
Was bin ich unter diese Unendlichkeit gelegt 
Duftend wie eine Wiese hin und her bewegt 
Rufend zugleich und bange dass einer den Ruf vernimmt 
Und zum Untergange in einem Andern bestimmt