Recommendations and Advices for Caregivers

Caregiving is about having the patience and empathy to help people in their most vulnerable states. Great caregiving respects and dignifies the lives people have built and lived, and strives to enrich their day-to-day experience wherever possible.

Becoming a caregiver for others, for relatives, for your parents or your partner is rarely included on a person’s list of future-facing plans, but it occurs far more frequently than most realize. 

When two people commit to spending their lives together, it’s a moment of celebration. They often envision settling into a home together, maybe growing a family, going on adventures, exploring shared passions and hobbies, and celebrating major milestones. But we all know where light there is also shadow. For myself it was a as a matter of course and was without discussion that I stand with my wife.

But at the beginning I was not aware about the level of hyper-awareness that came and often comes with being a caregiver for your partner—managing her health status, daily care needs, doctor appointments, prescription refills, insurance company communications, home health aide schedules and more - and all to often it became incredibly taxing.

And it is a matter of my heart writing another article about it - about the time when it comes to the worst.

Most Caregivers feel ...

• often feel drained, tired and overburdened - fatigue and overwork
• very often they are feeling alone, abandoned and often misunderstood
• Grief, fear, and suffering and worries about the future
• feel helpless, powerlessness and experience a feeling of having lost control over their own life

The challenges and burdens experienced by non-professional caregivers are highly subjective and depend on the coping strategies and the available resources. To cope with these stressful emotions, caregivers should ...

• emphasize the positive and meaningful aspects of caring for someone at home
• allow themselves time off and time for self-awareness
• inform themselves and acquire skills and competencies
• actively seek help and support
• talk to others 

... and especially the last two hints I like to emphasize for men, as men all too often are not good in talking about emotions and asking for help 

Caregives need support and should seek help early enough ...

• psychosocial support
• easing of a burden, of responsibility
• social acceptance
• social awareness

And from my point of view - what is super important - is the need regarding the social awareness.

And that caregiving is not a implicit responsibility of women - hell no - not at all!   Didn't both partner promised each other to stay and care for each other until death do them part - in good times as in bad?  Hell Yes!  

Care about mental health and a good balance

Caregiver must care as well about their own well-being, it is important to know your own limits and to take time out from time to time. Those who take this to heart do not only take advantage of offers of relief when there is no other option, but also to spend a few hours in good company with other people or in nature

Exchange thoughts, emotions and ideas with others

Challenges are easier to overcome when you have someone to share your worries and fears with. Whether such conversations take place within the family depends greatly on the relationships and the dispositions of the people involved. If an exchange is not possible in the personal environment, sometimes a conversation in a self-help group will be helpful.

Care giving at the end of life

Accompanying someone at the end of life at a nursing home is already challenging - but accompanying a partner at the end of life at home is even more difficult and challenging. 

My explicit recommendations and advices ...

• Focus on the positive things and accept the challenging situation. Don’t fight or deny it because that will make it worse.
• Death is a natural and unavoidable part of life - even there are diverse tasks which must be mastered
• Accept that the objective situation which can not or hardly be changed
• Find your own and together with your partner an interpretation, understanding, or reinterpretations of dying and the death

In this context

An article about caring in the social context and in this context about positive thinking, dealing with challenging times, mental health.

English and German - but keep in mind that all browser offers you great options to translate.

Challenging Times - And 5 Ways to Overcome Challenges in Life

Transforming - Positive Attitude

Take care of your own needs and your power balance - Self-care is important for everyone!

Würdig Leben - Gedanken zur Pflegesituation

Wer darf Sterbehilfe beanspruchen?