Grief and Loss - Mental Health

The pain, hurt and sorrow of grief are so individual as the people we are and what or who we lost.

Especially when we lost a beloved person - it can often cause you to want to withdraw from others and retreat into your shell - your own - your safe place.
But having the face-to-face support of other people is vital to healing from loss.
Even if you're not comfortable talking about your feelings under normal circumstances, it's important to express them when you're grieving - or just to be with someone, sitting somewhere, walking along a beach or through a forest, watching mother nature. Finding any words, finding the right words will be hard - often almost unpossible - whether you are the griever or the one who want to be with the griever, give yourself time, often a lot of time is needed.

While sharing your loss can make the burden of grief easier to carry, that doesn't mean that every time you interact with friends and family, you need to talk about your loss. Comfort can also come from just being around others who care about you. The key is not to isolate yourself.

Turn to friends and family members. 

Lean on the people - surround yourself with people who care about you. Spend time together - best face to face, and accept the assistance that's offered - even if you take pride in being strong and self-sufficient. Often, people want to help but don't know how, so tell them what you need - whether it's a shoulder to cry on, a listening ear, or just someone to hang out with. If you don't feel you have anyone you can regularly connect with in person, it's never too late to build new friendships - or refresh an old connection.

Accept that many people feel strange or even frightened

And the people feel, act or behave unskilful or even clumsy - when trying to comfort someone who's grieving. Grief can be a confusing, sometimes frightening emotion for many people, especially if they haven't experienced a similar loss themselves. They may feel unsure about how to comfort you and end up saying or doing the wrong things. But don't use that as an excuse to retreat into your shell and avoid social contact. If a friend or loved one reaches out to you, it's because they care.

Draw comfort from your faith or as I did from my stoic way of thinking. 

Meditations, philosophy or meditative or spiritual activities that are meaningful to you can help you, can stabilize you or give you a room, space, a path ... I know it can work even I am a lot but not a spiritual or religious person.

Join a support group and / or talk to a therapist or grief counselor.

Grief can feel very lonely, even when you have loved ones around. Sharing your sorrow with others who have experienced similar losses can help. To find a bereavement support group in your area, contact local hospitals, hospices, funeral homes, and counseling centers, or see the links below. If your grief feels like too much to bear, find a mental health professional with experience in grief counseling. An experienced therapist can help you work through intense emotions and overcome obstacles to your grieving.

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Closing Thoughts

Whatever your loss is, was or will be, it's personal to YOU, so don't feel ashamed about how you feel, or believe that it's somehow only appropriate to grieve for certain things.
If the beloved person, person next to you, animal, relationship, or situation was significant to you, it's normal to grieve the loss you're experiencing.
Whatever the cause of your grief, though, there are healthy ways to cope with the pain - you will find YOUR way to deal with your loss, find new meaning, and move on with your life, lost person, lost ... whatever it was - and find YOUR way.

And don't forget it you are grieving and you are feeling sad when something ends, someone passed away, it must have been pretty wonderful while it was happening. More about this thought here.