Mental Health - Widower Experience (WX)

When a friend is challenged by a physical problem, like a health issue, or an emotional problem, like a breakup from a beloved person, romantic partner or animal, we want stand by them - being able to support her or him in a way that is both helpful and supportive. Whether they are suffering from some misfortune, loss, or challenging experience, how do we respond in a way that spread and share warmth and understanding? Do we offer sympathy or empathy? And what is the difference - and both has its time and can be beneficial or not that good. Sympathy and empathy are similar, BUT sympathy or empathy are different in how they can or will make the other who is suffering feel. Empathy is a sense that you can understand and share the feelings of another. As User Experience Designer as person with a few experience in my life - I firmly believe that this "shared" experience can generate a profound understanding because you attempt to know what it’s like to “walk in their shoes.” We a...

The story of lost love is one most of us can tell, and the question, "Do I want to fall in love?" "Why do relationships fail?” "What to do when I loose my love?" Whether we know it or not, most of us are afraid of really being in love. While our fears may manifest themselves in different ways or show themselves at different stages of a relationship, we all harbor defenses that we believe on some level will protect us from getting hurt. Joy of love and the pain of love As stoic - I believe in balance - real joy and real pain are mutually dependent When we fully experience true and real joy or feel the preciousness of life on an emotional level, we all too often have a presentiment of feeling or expecting great amount of sadness. Many of us shy away from the things that would make us happiest because they will or might also make us feel pain, sorry, or even guilty in one or the other way ... or already worry about grieving upfront. And I am sorry to tel...

Empathy is fundamental to emotional intelligence - this is beyond all question. I read an interesting study by Sarah Konrath , college students in 2010 had 40% less empathy than college students had back in 1979.  Empathy is our ability to imagine life from another's perspective, to walk in someone else's shoes .  And here are some ways to jumpstart your empathic imagination.  Play a game I call five fingers perspectives and it is based on a design thinking method. Let's do it, I tell a story that typically generates a negative judgment. For example, you're a team member and you say hi to your trainer / coach / manager in the hallway, but she walks right by you without saying a word. Your assumption is, oh, she hates me or what a snob! Now your job is to create five explanations that assume no ill will on the part of your trainer / coach / manager.  Let's try it here, pause your reading and think of five innocent reasons that it could explain that behavior.  So...

World Kindness Day is today, it is an international observance on 13 November. It was introduced in 1998. Kindness is defined by doing something towards yourself and others, motivated by genuine desire to make a positive difference. We know that kindness and our mental health are deeply connected. Kindness is an antidote to isolation and creates a sense of belonging. It helps reduce stress, brings a fresh perspective and deepens friendships. Kindness to ourselves can prevent shame from corroding our sense of identity and help boost our self-esteem. Kindness can even improve feelings of confidence and optimism.  We're all familiar with the saying “it's better to give than receive”. What might surprise you is that this is actually backed up by research. Kindness to others involves a desire to create positive relationships of trust, reliability, dependability, connection, support, and honesty. Kindness and goodwill are values we all should care about and both refer to the motivati...

At latest up from December we all experience that the days are getting darker and shorter, the cold surrounds us, an even more emotional and often much more difficult time begins, especially for those in mourning. The days of the Holiday Season are the days when families show and celebrate their families, rituals, love and emotions. If a loved one is missing, passed away - then this lost leaves a void - that will also have a major impact on familiar rituals and habits during these days. Often, however, there is simply a lack of strength to keep up habits that we have grown fond of. The holidays are often so difficult for the bereaved - because friends and acquaintances and of cause colleagues also have little or no time. So it can quickly get very lonely and not only during the days of Hanukkah or the days of Christmas - but also on all the days after that into the New Year. This challenging time can turn into a roller coaster ride of feelings and yet this time is again a path in t...