Loneliness Among Children and Adolescents: A Quiet Problem We Need to Take Seriously
We often think of loneliness as an adult problem.
We talk about older people who are socially isolated, about people living alone, and about the growing difficulty of maintaining meaningful relationships in an increasingly connected world.
And this true and important – But loneliness can begin much earlier. And the numbers are difficult to ignore.
A recent analysis by Germany’s Competence Network Loneliness (Kompetenznetz Einsamkeit KNE ) found that around 11.8% of school students in Germany are classified as lonely. That means roughly one in eight children and adolescents. Girls are affected almost twice as often as boys: 14.8% of girls compared with 7.4% of boys. Age also appears to matter. In Germany, loneliness rises during the school years – from 7.7% in fifth grade to 12.6% in seventh grade and 14.4% in ninth grade.
So what happens as children grow older?
And what role does the environment around them play?
If you would like to explore the German perspective in more detail, you can read it here:
Einsamkeit bei Kindern und Jugendlichen – Prävention beginnt früher
Loneliness is more than being alone
Being alone and feeling lonely are not the same thing. A young person can enjoy spending time alone and still feel deeply connected to others. Loneliness occurs when the relationships we have do not match the relationships and connection we need. That distinction matters.
The German data show that loneliness is associated with lower life satisfaction, greater health-related difficulties and lower perceived support from teachers and classmates. In other words, loneliness is not simply about how much time a young person spends alone. It is about whether they feel connected, supported and that they belong. And that brings us to one of the most important environments in a child's life: school
School is more than a place to learn ... we all know this or should remember
For children and adolescents, school is not just where academic knowledge is taught. It is where friendships are formed, social identities develop and young people experience acceptance – but also rejection, exclusion and loneliness. The German analysis found that lonely students perceive less support from teachers and classmates. And for sure schools cannot solve loneliness on their own. But they can make a difference.
A positive classroom climate, reliable relationships, open communication and opportunities to build meaningful connections can help create an environment in which young people feel seen and supported.
Teachers are not only educators. For some children, they may also be among the few reliable adults outside their family. That makes it worth looking a little more closely. Not only at the child who disrupts the lesson. Not only at the student who gets good grades. But also at the child who always sits alone. The teenager who has no one to talk to during breaks. The student who suddenly stops participating. Or the young person who is present at school every day, but somehow seems not to have a place within the group. Sometimes the signs of loneliness are remarkably quiet and easily overlooked.
As this this is a worldwide problem ...
The German figures are part of a much larger international picture. The Health Behaviour in School-aged Children (HBSC) study, supported by the World Health Organization, examines the health, well-being and social lives of children and adolescents. The latest international survey, conducted in 2021/22, collected data from almost 280,000 young people across 44 countries and regions in Europe, Central Asia and Canada. The pattern is striking. Across participating countries and age groups, around 16% of adolescents reported feeling lonely most of the time or always.
And two patterns appear repeatedly:
- Loneliness increases with age.
- Girls report loneliness more often than boys.
Among 11-year-olds, approximately 14% of girls and 8% of boys reported frequent loneliness. By age 15, that had risen to around 28% among girls and 13% among boys. For girls, that is roughly a doubling between the ages of 11 and 15.
Where you grow up seems to matter
The international data also show something else: there is no single level of loneliness that can simply be described as a normal part of adolescence. The differences between countries are substantial.
Among 15-year-old girls, reported rates range from approximately 13% in Denmark to 40% in England. Germany is also relatively high, at around 32% among 15-year-old girls and 11% among boys. These differences are important.
If young people in different countries experience such different levels of loneliness, then loneliness cannot simply be an inevitable consequence of growing up. The social environments surrounding young people may matter ...
- Family circumstances
- Schools
- Friendships,
What about the UK and the United States?
For my readers in the UK and United States, there is an important distinction to make. The HBSC international survey includes Canada but does not include the United States. (If one or two of my readers from the US could share their insights / analytics, I would really appreciate it. I may incorporate these insights into a future update of the article. So, as always, please don’t hesitate to leave a comment. I read every comment personally, but comments will never be shared publicly without your permission.)
The UK participates through its individual nations, including England, Scotland and Wales. The figures cited above therefore refer specifically to England, not to the UK as a whole. England stands out in the international comparison. Among 15-year-old girls, around 40% report feeling lonely most of the time or always. That is two in five teenage girls.
Whatever the reasons behind the figure, it is difficult to dismiss this as an issue affecting only a small minority. And for readers in the United States, the absence of US data from HBSC is itself worth noting.
It means we should be careful about simply assuming that international findings automatically describe American teenagers. At the same time, the broader question remains highly relevant: How connected do young people feel in the environments where they grow up?
Prevention starts before a crisis
When we talk about mental health or suicide prevention, we often focus on acute crises. We look for warning signs. We think about what to do when someone is already struggling severely. But prevention can begin much earlier. It can begin with noticing when a child is becoming socially disconnected. With asking whether they feel that they belong. With creating environments in which it is possible to talk about difficult experiences without fear of judgement. And with making sure that someone notices when a young person begins to withdraw. This does not mean equating loneliness with suicidal thoughts or suicidal behaviour. Most lonely children and adolescents will not become suicidal. But social connection, belonging and supportive relationships are important parts of psychological well-being. The German KNE findings, together with the international HBSC data, give us good reason to take persistent loneliness seriously.
What can we do?
Perhaps the first step is surprisingly simple: pay attention earlier. That can mean:
- helping teachers recognise signs of persistent loneliness,
- strengthening social and emotional skills,
- creating supportive classroom environments,
- providing opportunities for genuine social connection,
- making it easier for young people to talk about difficult experiences,
- and noticing when a child or teenager is gradually losing their social connections.
But there is an important distinction here. Being alone is not the problem.
Time alone can be healthy. Young people need space, privacy and time for themselves.
The problem is unwanted and persistent loneliness – the feeling of being disconnected from others when connection is something you actually want.
A simple question
The international data tell us that loneliness among young people is not a problem unique to Germany, England or Canada. But they also tell us something equally important ... the experience of loneliness varies considerably between countries. That means we should be cautious about treating adolescent loneliness as simply an unavoidable part of growing up.
Perhaps the question is not only: Why are young people lonely?
Perhaps we should also ask: What kind of environments are we creating for them?
- Do they feel seen?
- Do they feel that they belong?
- Do they have someone they can trust?
- Do they know where to turn when something is wrong?
These may sound like simple questions. They are not. For a young person, feeling connected to other people is not an optional extra. It is part of growing up. And perhaps prevention sometimes begins with something much simpler than a programme, an app or another performance target. It begins with paying attention. With being there. With asking. And, most importantly, with listening.
Because sometimes one of the most important things we can give a child is the feeling that they belong.
Sources and further reading
Competence Network Loneliness (KNE)
German expertise on loneliness among children and adolescents:
KNE Expertise 16/2026
Health Behaviour in School-aged Children (HBSC)
International WHO-supported study of children's and adolescents' health and well-being:
HBSC International Reports
HBSC International Report 2021/22 – Mental Health and Well-being
Data from almost 280,000 young people across 44 countries and regions:
HBSC Data Browser
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