Mental Health - Widower Experience (WX)

Trust is the basement, the pillars and the roof for oneself and for relations. Trust builds relationship and holds relationship together. Trust goes hand in hand with the integrity of the partners and is what makes a meaningful and confident relationship. Self-trust is trusting blindly, trusting implicitly oneself - stopping to questioning oneself - starts with understanding and goes on with believing in oneself. Trust in a relationship is similar from my viewpoint - Trust is like putting a part of yourself in someone else's hands. Therefore, it is difficult for some people to gain trust in friendship or relationship.  I am sure I don't have to go into any detail or example - as sometimes we experience disappointments or betrayals - when this happens, we lose faith. I firmly believe that we have to trust in us and others, otherwise a good life and relationship becomes impossible or so hard that life becomes only existence. It leads me to conclude that sincere, trusting b...

This article should not trying to make you have more positive thoughts or more rational thoughts - or at least not completely - perhaps partly - as that's how I do it as stoic. Even more I am trying to help you to have a different relationship to your thoughts, and your fears. Fear, anxiety and panic can severely affect life. This no question. And yes there might be and for sure a short-term relief is occuring when fears are avoided and fearful situations are prevented, avoided, or bypassed. However, avoidance will preserve and maintain the fear in the long term, and will further limiting life. The solution most often will be found in facing your fears. Fear is just a feeling - it is that easy - but as well - that challenging  Same as we can not turn on and off the feeling of love and mourning - we can not turn of the fear of something. But the moment we accept out fear and embrace it with compassion - the moment we can begin to create and build upon our own self-trust. The thing i...

The feeling of self-worth / the way you judge yourself, is built on / growing on your roots of ... confidence and awareness of yourself - the knowledge of your personality, your abilities and your goals as well as the conviction of your own actions trust in yourself - believing in yourself and your strengths acceptance of yourself - accepting your weaknesses and knowing that you are always good enough Everyone is born with these roots, but you have to work on them to make them stable and strong - it is up to you to care for these roots and yourself. And the recognition we receive from others - starting when we were children - affects how we feel about ourselves as adults. If you were laughed at because we missed certain goals or you were constantly picked last for the team, you may still think today that you are not good or get attention or not the way we like to get. A lack of respect, ridicule and distrust can damage feeling of self-worth and the way you judge yourself. As a result, ...

Dignity is a word, label we often can read, hear and see in so many quotes, news and in various context. When we are young, we are taught that dignity is something that we should look after and develop. The German Basic Law codify that the human dignity is inviolate and may not be balanced against any other right or value. Any violation of human dignity is unconstitutional - that is what our German and many other laws tell us. Even if it is necessary to have a public spirit and social understanding in order not to violate the limits of dignity. I see dignity as one of the most personal and unique values which a person has and everyone can only define for themselves. Dignity is so much more than how someone appears, or how others see one. On the one hand dignity is as simple as it is and on the other hand at the same time so much complicated - I see dignity as the sum of the positive thoughts and the personal environment, and what develops and does in ourselves. Aspects like ... S...

You don’t have to laugh, smile, or have to be positive all the time.  It’s human and it normal and okay to feel sad, angry, annoyed, frustrated, scared and anxious. Having emotions and bad or negative feelings doesn’t make you a negative person. Where are shadows - there must be light and sun as well - and there are hope, love and confidence and trust, even when a moment might tell you something else.  Mental health is an integral component of maintaining good overall health and life. And mental health is the centered point and basement maintaining individual wellbeing.  Mental health, good emotions, and happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to feel the warm and the light of the sun. Adopting good mental health practices are good building blocks in order to establish a strong foundation for overall wellness and good life. In honor of the #WorldMentalHealthDay here are tips for achieving and maintaining positive mental health. Val...

As I have written so much about grief and lost - and about challenges in life - I like to write today about the most valuable emotion. The emotion which causes the pain of grieving ...  LOVE  Today is Thanksgiving - Thanks are given to those who do something good for us. So, it is the best day to say thanks to our beloved ones, who makes your life beautiful by spreading love. We say Thank You to everyone in our ordinary life, but some people are special, our beloved partner, and I do it as well and I say thank you to my wife who went ahead over the bridge and is waiting on the other side. I think Thanksgiving is a good day to think about Love. I already wrote about it before that I see that grief is love . And yes, I understand that one or two may not believe me, because grief seems like a nightmare. I have to admit that on few days I don’t believe it myself, but then someone says something tender or shares a loving memory or does something supportive for another person and I’...

As we move through life, we have to except, understand and learn that there are many things out of our control. We can’t choose so many things that happen in the world around us - things out of our control. One thing that we can control is who our friends are, and this decision can either make our lives so much richer and beautiful, or more stressful and disappointing. Today I’ll focus on friendship. Friendship makes life more enjoyable and enriches one's everyday experiences. Everyone is wired differently and brings their own personality and history to a friendship. Some friendships develop quickly and some take time. In order to recognize and feel a real friendship, qualities like  Accepting the other - Acceptance is the ability to see that others have a right to be their own unique persons. That means having a right to their own feelings, thoughts and opinions. When you accept people for who they are, you let go of your desire to change them.  Unwavering support -...

My thoughts at the end of the year. We are living in a time of huge changes. Now another year is ending. and 2024 will start soon. I can, You can, we can start a new year with confidence by simply being open to ALL that can occur, change and shift in the upcoming 365 days. We know that things can change in one day, so don’t let the idea of what you didn’t accomplish or didn’t finish stop you from knowing that it can and will still get done. We all could use a few ways to start a new year with confidence. You can be confident in a new year no matter how things ended on December 31 What is confidence?  Well - In its simplest form, confidence is the feeling of trust in something. When we’re talking about confidence we have to have self-confidence in mind and soul as well, it is the belief that you can trust in yourself and your abilities or knowledge. Confidence impacts physical and mental health. Confidence is a trait that can help us face life’s experiences head-on.  Start buil...

My stoic mantra ... Go as far as you can. When you get there You will see how it goes on. Your path and purpose will become clear and become yours - when you begin to trust yourself. The path - your path is the destination. Live your life for you with self-awareness, trust und confidence You have to trust in yourself - trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, good in others ... whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life. When you look to the past, don't sit and dwell on your regrets. Instead, focus on the things you learned from each experience and how they may enrich your future. Use the past not as something to hold you back, but as a method for reaffirming the drive to move forward on your chosen path. Live your life for you and not to please expectations Social pressure is deceiving - we all become influenced without noticing it. Before we realize we lost control of our lives, we end up envying how other people li...

Self-determination, self-definition, autonomy is not only a community, public, social spirit or topic or only for society, but also for each and every one of us. Especially when it comes to going your own way - living your own life - realizing your own meaning in life. enjoying your and using your freedom. And what I like to emphasize is that the freedom I mean has nothing to do with not being aware of others, seeing others or even when I see it here or there - it has nothing to do with absence or non-recognition of authority or other, or even anarchy or the ruthless living out of all desires. Quite the contrary I have in mind- it has to do with responsible action as well as consideration and respect for ourselves and others. Freedom also challenges us to make the best of our circumstances, to choose from the multitude of possibilities to go our own meaningful path and to live your life. Even more it has something to do with building bricks, concrete for a stabile basement, wa...

The world is full of challenges - Uncertainty is a part of life and it can’t be avoided. The best way to deal with it is to learn techniques that help you live with it, without the accompanying worry.  Against all challenges and odds, and as well in times of troubles the good and beautiful things are all to often in front of us - we can see them, we can feel, we can hear them - we can perceive the good and beauty by our senses. But what I learned, more through crises than from good times, that the best and most beautiful things in our world are often not seen or heard, but felt deep, very deep in our hearts. Honesty and trust are the cornerstones of life. They are the most essential ingredients and the foundational principles that holds all relationships. But I firmly believe - as I learned it for myself - not only relations. An important is as well that you are honest to yourself and that you trust yourself. Being honest with yourself requires self-awareness and even courage. It c...

In the course of my work and blogging in the field of mental health, it has become abundantly clear that mental health, equality, and self-determination are closely linked to both small and large politics. This became even clearer to me as I researched and wrote articles for International Women's Day . Legislation, regulations, and especially resource allocation are crucial. Political conditions, societal conditions, and decisions influence the availability and access to mental health services, support, and other resources. Laws and budgets determine how much money is allocated to the system and the healthcare system, and what priorities are set. Equality: P olitical measures to promote equality, whether in terms of gender, race, sexual orientation, or other characteristics, have direct impacts on the well-being and quality of life of individuals. Laws against discrimination and for equal opportunities are crucial for the mental health of marginalized groups. Self-Determination: Po...

The person in life who will always be with you always and all time, is yourself. Even when you are with others, you are still with yourself, too! When you are at the most beautiful or important place in the world - the most beautiful and important person is there as well. When your are laying in bed at night you are with yourself. When you wake up in the morning, you are with yourself. When you are walking along a beautiful beach in the sunlight you are with yourself. What kind of person do you want to walk along the beach with? What kind of person do you want to wake up in the morning with? What kind of person do you want to see dusk is falling, before you fall asleep? Because that person is yourself, and it's your responsibility to be that person you want to be with. It is up to us how and what we think about ourselves and how we can perceive ourselves. Every person is something unique in the world. Self-awareness is important because our feelings are an expression of our needs. ...

In contrast to animals, we as human beings can be and do many things in our lives and have many great options to choose from in order to find luck and happiness.  If we make decisions here and there that we doubt afterwards, that we would not make the same way with more knowledge and experience at a later point in time - that is no reason to grieve. Life is an open-ended experiment. In fact, it would be a shame if we didn't design our personal experiment ourselves, not only "just let it happen". We are experiencing extremely challenging times and I can no longer count the additional challenges I face in the recent years. Especially in these challenging times, the question of what makes us happy is more important than ever. In my opinion, human life is about much more than just living without fear or fulfilling an 'achievement' or, in the worst case, just existing. At least I think that people want to find themselves - and everyone wants to live in a good partnersh...

Experiencing and enjoying happiness is and will be an ongoing path we can find and go. I am sure everyone wants to have a meaningful and joyful life, cultivating certain behaviors can help, including meaning, authenticity, optimism, gratitude, compassion, and generosity. Based on what I learned in my life, struggled now and then in my life, for sure was challenged by near-death experiences, floodwaters, house fire, and the death of my wife - I became a firm believer that a large determinant of happiness is personality. The individual differences how people respond to events and also to other people have an impact on the levels of a person’s happiness. 5 Pillars of Happiness One influencer on happiness I like to mention upfront is one I do not have - but I learned that for many people it is an important of the important aspect - religion - it can be a powerful source of happiness. While not true universally, religion has been associated with greater happiness. Positive effects ...

The ups and downs in life often feel like ebbs and flows - But the tides aren't the only things in nature and life that have their 'up' and 'down', the 'out' and 'in' respectively. . First of all, we should remember that it is "ebb and flow" - not "ebb and never return". The same goes for many things, events and interests in life. And the nice thing is you can rely on it and trust it. And yes, the laws of ebb and flow do not always apply. However, as with all 'reliability in life', the ideas for this do not apply to all situations. For example, when I say we should meet our need for variety, I most certainly do NOT mean that we do when it comes to your job or your significant other. At least not in the direct sense - even if this were possible. But you always have to be aware of the consequences that some high and low tides have - figuratively speaking, rip currents that could pull you onto the open ocean. (I had such a re...

I've been working on this article for a long time - and I'm still not finished - but due to current local events, I'm publishing the current state of it.  After a traumatic event, it is possible to help children feel safe with comfort, support, and assurance. We can help them deal with their fears, grief, and help them recover in a healthy way.  I have put together the following tips and recommendations based on studies and support from psychiatrists, psychologists, and mental health experts who specialize in crisis situations. Whenever possible, I tried to provide simple tips on what to expect, what to do, and what to look out for. IMPORTANT - If you, or children or teenagers need support for their mental health, do not hesitate to contact a doctor or another health care provider for help or a recommendation.  1. Tips to assist children after the event  Make the child feel safe and secure. This includes physical closeness - all children, from toddlers to teenagers, ...